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Sale! Sale! Sale! Julia Roberts Next Role?

Posted by on June 12, 2012 | Comments Off

Fire sale – the sale of goods at extremely discounted prices, typically when the seller faces bankruptcy or other impending distress.

ON SALE NOW

For a limited time only, at the extremely discounted price of just $500,000.00, the ready-made story of what happens after your “Best Friend’s Wedding”.

Famous Laugh sound bite

All Rights currently up for sale at the cut-rate price above.

 

Write info@oneheadlightink.com for your NDA today!

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Charlie’s World

Posted by on March 6, 2011 | Comments Off

Click the pic for Sheen’s Korner a.k.a. Violent Torpedo of Truth

OHI’s Ode to Charlie Sheen

(or as gram’ma would say Sharlie Cheen)

Charlie Sheen is the new moon
Generations have long romanticized…
“even though we’re apart, just look to the sky and know
that we’re under the same moon…”
So we are in millions, under the same light of Charlie’s ~star

Charlie Sheen is the new Moon Landing and JFK assassination
You’ll always remember who you were with and where you were when you first watched the epic tragedy that is in his mind the gnarly triumph of Charlie Sheen

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Glass Soapbox: World Day Day Edition

Posted by on June 16, 2010 | 6 comments

World Refugee Day and Father’s Day are one in the same day – Coincidence? I think not. A stupid little blogette, namely ME is going to initiate the first annual zip your pants and close your legs day (ZPCL)!

It will be sometime in November as the highest U.S. birth rates are recorded in July and August translating to most impregnations occurring in and around November (Sarah Palin may wish to celebrate in March when her teenage daughter became pregnant).

Bristol Palin is doing her part to contribute to ZPCL day by introducing an iPhone app. of a baby crying non-stop for 30 seconds.

Philanthropists of the millenium, Bill and Melinda Gates need to take a sit down with me and parooz the preliminary chapters of my forthcoming book entitled, “Why it’s Easier to Make a Baby Than to Buy a Bag of Doritos”. These impassioned dogooders are spending BILLIONS vaccinating the impoverished all over the globe.

I’s here to tell ‘em, that the most powerful vaccine and the most effective of the three components of World Peace is BIRTH CONTROL. This quote from the lovely Melinda grates on every neuron of sensibility.

“a woman I met in Tanzania…walked six hours…she was 20 years old…she had 4 children at home…on the verge of delivering her [ANOTHER] baby…we see it time and time again.” – Melinda Gates

What to the F in H is that!?!?!? I hope Ange-jo would approve of my World Refugee Day sentiments as I too preach that all human rights should be protected and not be forgotten – especially that most basic human right to have control over one’s own body.

Yes, please do not forget those suffering to the extent of how much harder it is to care for two (three, four and FIVE) starving mouths above your own – think of all the earthquake babies, the tsunami babies, hurricane babies, because from all these world catastrophes to right next door (to Russia) it truly remains “Easier to Make a Baby Than to Buy a Bag of Doritos”.

So while ~we fund water, refuge and vaccinations can we please put a think on personal health and sexual education!??!?!?

Links: MSNBC, The UN Refugee Agency, Planned Parenthood

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Sunday Post Script

Posted by on June 13, 2010 | 2 comments

They say picture is worth a thousand words, but if you’re Julia Roberts it’s more like $20 mil. and she can do pretty much anything she wants. In this age of gratuitous reboot Julia Gulia has taken a stand and said pass to the poss. of a Pretty Woman part deux.

Jules was ~recently quoted as saying she’s “too old” to come back to the silver screen as everyone’s favorite hooker with a heart of gold.

Famous Laugh sound bite

But NM’s Own eternally gorgeous woman et al can relish a Romantic Comedy (Ro-co) at any age, frankly the more mature the better…that’s why waaay back in ’03 I myself penned an entire script around one of my fave Roberts Ro-cos.

And here’s the mock-up of the movie poster of our dream cast for the follow-up flick. Note the artistry in the head cropping, inspired by the original PW poster that was famously and similarly doctored.

As for the script, it is here in whole form, filed away; where it has been since it made its rounds to some Roberts-Moder representative in Taos, then up to an NYC production co. who politely returned it to us non grata – WOW gotta love “the business”, even that was an exciting day at the ~office!

Well, if and when she’s ready the story in its entirety is here for her, fait accompli – Jules, Mr. Marshall, Anybody, Anybody…

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Serial Fiction – Truth Telling Edition, My Day With Perez Hilton

Posted by on September 15, 2009 | One comment

Perez

I wouldn’t spend the day with Mario.

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Absolutely Superfluous ©Serial Fiction Edition

Posted by on August 16, 2009 | 2 comments

Ashley Cecil
Ashley Cecil

Retired actor announces retirement – Deccan Harald

Spears settles lawsuit in Anniston/Pitt home sale damages caseRelated

Katie and Victoria still working to mend their icy relationship after Vickey lays into Kate Cruise for being “overweight” back in ’07 – Related

New Moon actor to fake his own death due to over exposure – Related

Paltrow may begin THC colonic regimen to save marriage – Related

Steroids, skin lighteners, sexual ambiguity, lip synching OH MY! – Related via Examiner

Foxx takes cue from Hudgens in bid for relevance – Related via Daily Mail

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Serial Fiction – My Day With Matt Mac July 31, 2009

Posted by on August 1, 2009 | Comments Off

Matt Mac

Leave it to Matt Mac to take it down a notch chillin’ with the locals. He and his baby momma x2 take in a low rung event where she is impossibly beautiful and of course he ain’t hard to look at. They accept many congrats on their progeny in gestation with understandably controlled enthusiasm, as back in la la land there are no fewer than a half dozen impostor baby registries in their name.

Even so it’s nice to see the unaffected coupling where his untethered swagger melds so well with her earthly elegance that bends and sways like a river reed. For being hounded and examined the simple pair just speak and be easy like many of the rest of us could probably stand to. It must be partially attributed to sticking to the Mateo motto j.k.l.

When back stateside we may see the Mac brood in New Mexico if the easy actor’s upcoming flick, Southbound with the outrageously gorgeous Eva Mendes lands here in New Hollywood.

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Serial Fiction – Adding Fuel to the Make-believe Fire

Posted by on July 26, 2009 | 2 comments

UPDATE 7/26/2009: Fox sets her sights and aims her fangs directly at Zac Efron’s cake.

UPDATE 6/20/09: Life imitates Art Hudgens stalking Fergie?

Serial Fiction – My Day With Vanessa Hudgens Originally Posted June 8, 2009:
Vanessa Hudgens

Homegirl spent the better part of the morning vomiting and crying. She shrieked twenty-first-century Nancy Kerrigan style, “Why? Why Megan Fox? Why not me?” She was eventually persuaded to rise up off the bathroom floor and begin some semblance of a normal day, at least by “celebrity” standards.

The sniffles and intermittent weeping persisted throughout the day. If she had mustered up one tenth that commitment and affability on the craptastic character that made her famous maybe someone other than cheese hungry, beard following tweens would be able to stand her and she might’ve gotten a small role in a Summer Blockbuster or even a spot in a sleeper smash.

Instead she met the end of this day by frantically searching for the real Fergie on Twitter, determined to strike-up a friendship based on a what she hoped would be a shared hatred of Megan Fox – to no avail.

So for now she’ll simply have to be steadied by the comfort clawing with a death grip onto the coat tails of her virginal man friend brings – in this her brief stint of consciousness that she has less of a “career” than does a ribbon wearing cartoon kitten.

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Serial Fiction – My Day With Vanessa Hudgens June 8, 2009

Posted by on June 8, 2009 | 3 comments

UPDATE: Life imitates Art Hudgens stalking Fergie?

Vanessa Hudgens

Homegirl spent the better part of the morning vomiting and crying. She shrieked twenty-first-century Nancy Kerrigan style, “Why? Why Megan Fox? Why not me?” She was eventually persuaded to rise up off the bathroom floor and begin some semblance of a normal day, at least by “celebrity” standards.

The sniffles and intermittent weeping persisted throughout the day. If she had mustered up one tenth that commitment and affability on the craptastic character that made her famous maybe someone other than cheese hungry, beard following tweens would be able to stand her and she might’ve gotten a small role in a Summer Blockbuster or even a spot in a sleeper smash.

Instead she met the end of this day by frantically searching for the real Fergie on Twitter, determined to strike-up a friendship based on a what she hoped would be a shared hatred of Megan Fox – to no avail.

So for now she’ll simply have to be steadied by the comfort clawing with a death grip onto the coat tails of her virginal man friend brings – in this her brief stint of consciousness that she has less of a “career” than does a ribbon wearing cartoon kitten.

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©Sindication in the News

Posted by on May 15, 2009 | Comments Off

When is this woman gonna play herself in a major motion picture? Calling current NM productions, Book of Eli, Did You Hear About the Morgans?, The Killer Inside Me, Invasion of Privacy, and Broken Horses. Terminator and Transformers may have already wrapped but they can put her in post-production à la J. Jojola.

Seriously, we love this chick and not just because she’s talked about us…but because she is one of the least annoying (and I’m annoyed by everything), best delivering, most consistent faces on the NM airwaves. AND she’s big screen ready. Homegirl looks great in HD! Only a handful of her peers are well surviving the HD conversion, much less thriving in it.

We may want to keep her out of NM film if we want to retain ‘er ’cause after one flick she just might move beyond us…Regis & Jess maybe. We don’t get to see heaping doses of her funny bone on her newscasts, but it twinkles in her shiny ojos caliente regularly. Besides I think the sun has set on Kelly’s time in the spotlight. She’s puttering out into more of an impersonator than a personality. Anyway when Kells takes her millions and her dehydrated chicken bones and retires I think our Jess can fill the seat a-fresh.

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©Sindication Ink – Serial Fiction – Any Guesses?

Posted by on January 21, 2009 | 2 comments

Photobucket

“She” vol. 2

“Oh”, she sighed heavily rolling herself across the king sized bed. She closed her eyes and imagined it was their house. Though she was lying atop bedding laid out by the Realtor’s team of decorators, in her mind there were fine linens beneath that she and he had picked out together. He’s away right now, but he’ll be back soon. He always returns here, to their home, happy to be back in her arms. It has been the routine for years now, being together in this place he had built in the Hills for them. Until her daydreaming is cut short by the gaggle of her representatives and agents set out to retrieve her from the suite.

Who is “She”?

For more Serial Fiction click here.

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©Sindication Ink – Serial Fiction – Any Guesses?

Posted by on January 4, 2009 | Comments Off

Photobucket

“She” vol. 1

At the annual holiday party, just two sheets to the wind she swiftly, swooped her fork down and across her plate lifting the main course delicacy into her pie hole, swishing it all around her mouth with her tongue. Each salty, succulent morsel brushing across her taste buds, filling her cheeks, some even cramming itself betwixt her teeth – where it may as well park as it will be the only actual food that will pass her lips for the next several days on end – perhaps if it were welcome to remain there it could be beckoned upon to provide some sustenance during another daily, marathon workout session yet to come.

After abandoning her plate she got back to her airs. Giggling at the pre-Christmas, Christmas party is old hat by now. A working entertainer perhaps, but a celebrity not exactly until some years prior when it wasn’t as important to appear picture perfect – however at this late date, approximately five years down that road, actually eating may preclude her from the newly established stick thin physique she’s become even more famous for.
Who is “she”?

For more Serial Fiction click here.

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