For entangling religion with pop-culture…it’s Hasselbeck for the win:
On today’s “very special” episode of the View, everyone’s favorite skwaktresses read from this story about Rihanna’s invitation to get the h-e-double-hockey-sticks OFF THE FARM by an Irishman who didn’t take too kindly to her areolic display.
The queen of tangent and hypocrisy chimed-in as only she can saying that “Jesus didn’t turn people like this away. Jesus welcomed the prostitutes.”
RECORD SCRATCH, say-what?!?
How in the name of artistry vs. the farm does someone go from the topic of exercising property rights to calling a “top” selling songstress a ho AND dragging the name of Jesus into it in one fell swoop!??!
Hasselcrack! That’s how! This woman is THE master of her domain, which is an especially rich and vibrant history of fitting foot in mouth, post giant step in dooky, that she works so quickly you don’t even see, let alone comprehend what’s happened until it’s already over.
Inspired by Hasselbeck’s ~Deep Thoughts on this (and all matters), here is my choice for picture of the day:
You may recall as I do with GLEE when last year Japan D-Listed the heinousness that is Parasite Hilton like the skanky, good-for-nothing scab on society that she is!
Cut to last week when ever so effortlessly sharp-tongued television journalist Barbara Walters and epic entertainer turned T.V. host Whoopi Goldberg grilled the empty headed idol to idiots everywhere like no one has had the huevos to do to the likewise criminally worthless such as Lindsay Lohan etc., etc.
It’s being widely reported that thanks to this crack journalism, the cokey smuttyness Hilton was set to bring forth in upcoming interviews and public appearances to promote her nonsense of a new “show” is canceled! YAY!
UPDATE 4/25/11: Statement from the “Seen Team” here.
Re: Faceless Facebooker
If you have been besieged by snarky and convoluted comments, witness to the posted availability of major motion picture Press Passes for sale, the suggestion of Emmy winning television production access, confounded by the navigation, aggressive assertions and questionable intent of a certain website purported to be of the utmost value and importance to all involved or interested in New Mexico Film and production you are not alone.
Now I’m no English major (at least not one that completed even a part-time schedule of the first semester of a college English curriculum) but within most of these off-putting, rambling postings and comments it is hard to miss the juvenile spelling and grammatical errors that at times rival any overseas spam solicitation prompting you to retrieve your mail order bride, submit bank account information to collect your millions in foreign royal trust or purchase love-long-time meds…
Extraneous to the cloak of their Facebook campaign (under an admitted multitude of account names), suspicious craigslist postings and email messages have been floated around as brought to my attention by our own social networking contacts, website contributors and featured associates. The likes of which even prompting one of the most prominent casting agencies in our area to release a statement of disassociation…
And most directly offensive to this writer is the fact that the person(s) behind NM Seen has repeatedly hounded me on the Facebook account I manage for this site with harassing and befuddling remarks questioning my purpose and validity on the world wide web. I direct anyone with such concerns to this, our website which clearly communicates what we are about, specifically under a tab titled “About”.
Finally, the irony of being passive-aggressively cyber interrogated by an entity that is regularly perplexing to my friends and associates, which continuously proceeds to provide only the most grandiose to the most wildly inane answers to many of those whom inquire after their identity, prompted me to extend an offer to NM Seen to make themselves known to said friends, associates, et al in an on-the-spot phone interview for broadcast on our website (which would have been posted and parked under the “Audio” tab of our weblog). As you may well would have guessed the offer was declined in the grand yet empty style that “NM Seen” is becoming known for.
The transcript of which is available for you to read after the jump, plus a bonus music video tribute to this non-situation. That’s legal isn’t it? News agencies regularly report direct from the web pages of social networking sites, so surely this is an accepted as well as legal practice – most certainly NM Seen would know, as they appear to be experts on all things (okay, that was snarky).
» Read the full post
In a grating exercise of what seems to be futility (much like listening to Kelly Ripa speaking) you can log-on to the Live With Regis and Kelly website and vote on a temporary replacement for that dehydrated bag of chicken bones (i keed, i keed).
Two of NM’s Own are hedging forward as contenders, but the field remains wide-open. Git’ on-it NM et al. Send one of our girls to take the stool next to and school the cutest little leprechaun to ever yell at you from daytime television.
Reg has often made quips about NM, like whether or not he’d need a passport to perform at one of our Casinos (hardy, har, har – how Grand Torino/Arizona of him). Well, now that and so many more national and Canadian questions re: Nuevo México can be answered if we send ‘em one of ours.
Jackie James and Dana Cortez are deep in the race, but there’s still time to pick your pleasure or poison, e.g. red, green or Christmas. The freshly hyphenated Janae Herrera, Leah Black Attack and Lady Erica Viking have all been known for their good tail game.
Vote now through July 16 here. There’s also some giveaways or sweepstakes or something for voters…blah, blah, blah.
And p.s. Reg & Kell are owned by Buena Vista, which is owned by Disney and air on ABC which is owned by Disney and we lurves us some Disney in NM so, we should have dibs.
This is what the new SnC trailer looks like to me, just replace the pig face w/a horse face et Voila!
But seriously that’s just a moment of the whole trailer – where the epitome of SnC is showcased – that being Liza w/a Z and the incomparable ‘Stanford’. The rest aims squarely toward the BEST thing that ever happened on that show AIDEN!!!
Seriously. Ladies, you can mess-up with one “Aiden” but you better not move on to stupid the next time ’round. What is that called in super, whorrendous, whore mongering world – a Mulligan?
Anyforreals, here is the real SNC movie trailer via my slightly better looking, separated at birth-twin-sister Michael K (ilovehimsooomuch!!).
In other movie news – Everyone please stop crying about the possibility of R. Patz getting the Cobain role. And we’re still holding a candle light vigil that Nut Butter Boy gets the Spidey reboot role – amen.
And lastly to get you through the weekend – if anything gets ya’ down, stare at the pic in the previous post. Those two fugs are hypnotizing. Thank you Jon Favreau.
On a related note…Hail the reigning Man Slut: Gerry Butler. Is that so wrong?
The Ger-man has been kicking butt and taking tail all over the world since he became many a moviegoers fantasy lover in 300.
Any-whogives-aflock, leave the guy to his paramours! If you’re with a gamer you know it, unless you’re pobrecita Elin Nordegren.
Parasites like Tiger Woods, John Edwards and Heidi Montag are sucking all the fun out of gossip by perpetrating actual heinous acts.
If Gerry’s living life like a pervy old coot while the gettins good, without dragging a wife and kids into the fray, leave him alone…unless he winks at you. That’s an open invite ;)
Vote for Gerry in New Mexico’s Golden Tumbleweed Awards for his 2009 NM Film Gamer.
While looking for the priceless footage of Tom Joles defining ‘sexting’ and even better, ‘tramp stamp’ for us as new Oxford English Dictionary words for 2009, I found instead that a certain leopard is showing his spots.
It seems that our own christened Paris Chavez will leave office with almost 40K of ABQ cash lining his pockets. In a blaze of un-glory former mayor Chavez is getting your dough as a workman’s comp payment for jumping a fence during the ’04 Bosque Fires.
Hey yo’! My back is JACKED! Where’s my monies marty?
Awww, good ol’ marty prolly will give it back via thousands of 5×7 glossies of himself, dropped over the city in the chartered HOT AIR balloon he’ll ride out of town in à la:
UPDATE 081410: Juliette also has nothing better to talk about, quoted here re: BP just the other day…
Have some dignity ladies…Come on!
The “A-listers” who would’ve been left to fend for Parasite Hilton-like attention if not for their eternal flames for BP are still using them to burn our retinas and harsh on our ear drums with their bids to continually re-gain relevance.
Yes, the trail of ‘crazy’ debris left in the wake of BP reaches far and wide as these two have a world wide stage to play it out on. And now it seems that at least one pitiful-ex is single white female-ing the lone dignity grasping one. The lovely and talented Juliette Lewis is starring alongside Member-her Aniston in The Baster.
As Judge Judith Sheindlin says, “Beauty fades, dumb is forever!” Seriously ladies – get over it! And be careful Juliette…your co-star may have been duped by Goopy to collect some of your skin cells to take back to the lab where Batali is waiting to cook-up some BP snare-bot.
P.S. Where’s NM’s romantic comedy? Hello – we don’t have painted skies for nuthin’.
When I first started ~researching this post I found this atrocious purple sack of dead animal skins adorned with surely synthetic stones – which I found dumb enough, being that a cheap (but stylish microfiber or canvas) bag works just as great – but the true sickness of it all (opening the perverbial bag can of worms) is that this lil’ clutch retails for…wait for it…SEVENTHOUSANDTWOHUNDRED dollars, cash money! Present day! American dollars + tax and probably some other fees for being pretentious enough to click, Color: “Viola-10717248 $7200″ and “Add to Cart”!!!
I showed this atrocity to the very thrifty Spousal Equivalent, who squinted and said, “What is that?” “It’a a BAG,” I shouted holding up the remote control, “a bag THIS BIG! Look at the price. A BAG, not the wall of an apartment complex!”
It’s just so wrong. I know Mr. Cillian Grail would approve – therein lies the criteria for the stamp of rejection that ought be applied to all extravagances that should have never germinated into the current state of moral and economic ruin this nation is in.
I mean even Little Pony Parker herself admitted (from her movie set in New Mexico) that Carrie Bradshaw will finally be affected by the nation’s financial disrepair in the forthcoming SNC – ten years in (yes I watch AND I saw the movie, I even accidently watched part of the special features once – which if you have you should watch RIGHT NOW, just to finish off this rant with a fine polish of bile portrayed as the major importance of stupid swaths of cloth and accessories four one slutty character wears in a film).
While you’re at it maybe research your local government officials – just for kicks, e.g. who’s running who shouldn’t so you are armed with some info. when you go to the poles sans a $7,000.00 accessory like the upstanding citizen you are.
More Post 8
Leave my Cheerios ALONE! A bowl of cereal with some milk never hurt anyone. HOWEVER Nivea has launched its ’09 campaign for My Silhouette! Which though appropriately faced by a classic poster child for shallow delusions, is thus far leading the pack for self-hatred, pressure inducing, media crimes against women for Spring.
Above is an older version of the pipe-dream in a squeeze bottle ad. This season’s is even worse and currently running in heavy rotation on major networks. The latest Nivea ad shows a stick sliding into her size 0 jeans thanks to their slim, slimming ‘My Skinny Jeans‘ cream. You have to be genetically predisposed à la Little Pony Parker or Kyra Sedgwick for a figure like that – a lil’ lotion ain’t gonna reduce our chunk.
Boycott this eating disorder inducing pitch of lies.
Still leading the pack for most annoying local commercial is Mark’s Casa Chevrolet. Though there’s been some improvement since then, someone really needs to tell Mrs. Casa that it’s okay to use her ‘inside voice’ outside when she’s mic-ed.
Remember when you were nine and your mom spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on your clothes and an opulent arena for your hobby?
Here is the less-than-demure Dancing for Relevance poster child Cheryl Burke on the Bonnie Hunt Show clarifying for us the birthplace of her tremendous ego.
Jump to 3:45 to see the professional grade ballroom built especially for Burke by her momma.
Foxy McNews a.k.a. Melissa Mahan, has been doing a very good job as a KOAT Morning News anchor – handily holding her own next to our home grown hottie Marisa Maez since joining the news team in April 2008.
However – another buxom blonde who hits the airwaves a few hours after the KOAT morning team regularly points out when her own, “ant farm” begins to show and describes in the above clip one of her remedies for the situation.
Foxy’s farm can be distracting, not unlike Elisabeth Hasselbeck‘s blindingly, bright and shiny, rainbow trout looking, overly glossed lips when her trap is flapping.
Eh, I’m just jealous (of Foxy not Hasselcrack) that I can never go blonde…
HD – like so many other things wreaking havoc on us women while men are none the worse for it.
However, this new Project Economy segment is shrouded in misnomer. By definition a project is a specific plan or design. We’ve been tuning in to the Project Economy features which are more like a Project Depress You segment.
Post8 – Observation and constructive criticism, not oppressive legislation.
No, those are not mugshots of the stars above. As reported by KRQE news these three stars will soon be shooting their new thriller “The Killer Inside Me” in Santa Fe, expected to bring more film crew jobs and buzz about town.
Kate Hudson seems like she can peyote out in NM, Affleck is a pretty chill dude and more than a decent actor to boot…but this Alba chick can stand to take our boot heel and shove it.
The threesome are due to film in the City Different next month. Hopefully the air up-there will improve “MiserAlba‘s” craptacular acting or at least garner Santa Fe a better review than the one the shiteous actress gave Albuquerque one year ago.
“In Albuquerque there’s really only one restaurant that’s pretty good. You can only take Applebee’s and Chili’s so much. Our big day was hanging out at Wal-Mart for five hours. It was like, ‘Yea Wal-Mart!'”
A pretty face on a bobble head an on-air personality does not make. Maria Menounos currently of Access Hollywood should not laugh on camera – perhaps not in life. Her voice has never exactly been soothing, but add the laugh and you know she was made to be in silent film or still pictures.
If she insists on being in motion, surely the original bobble head, Vanna White will retire soon.
Gabrielle Reece was on Racheal Ray today moderating another segment of her Honey Line concept – which basically stems from the “support system” Gabby’s had to bring into play with her circle of other multi-millionaire, superstar friends. I really want to hate on her and her concept but she’s seems like the real deal.
Her fellow guest on the other hand…Cindy Crawford came off as the biggest, most pretentious, prima donna – who knew. On the upside I doubt these two are really, actually friends. Cindy’s too shallow to make it into the hive. You can catch Gabby giving her the squint eye while she’s rambling some stuck-up shinola.
This clip doesn’t even include her crybaby super model tales, or her “sass” on Hannah Montana. Cyrus could buy and sell your tired rump – ho. Empty headed, man-hag makes me wanna make my own bed every day – but I probably won’t. Click here for the whole interview.
Previous Honey Line guests include Courtney Co-quette
Lesson Learned – Hello, Reality calling. Stick to what you know – 1 Dimension Cindy.
It’s complete madness. Today is the first day to see Regis and Kelly in HD. The office television doesn’t have HD – Scramble to the LG HD and KOAT is scrolling closures and delays at the bottom of the screen (because yes it snows here dum-dum), transmitting in ANALOG. Oh, the humanity. Oh well, at least that saves us from seeing two sets of chicken bones gyrating around to Dance Body Beautiful in High-Def.
I think this qualifies as the first Post8 of the New Year.
p.s. It is in fact ‘Happy New Year‘. ‘Happy New Years‘ means plural year(s), and New Year’s, is belonging to the year as in New Year’s Eve.
No judging – just Post8ing
Build-A-Bear Workshop – It started out as a very sweet concept, pick your bear skin, hug and love on his heart, pop it in his chest, watch him get stuffed and sewed up – precious. Your bear then gets a lil’ birth certificate and cardboard box house – these things can be achieved for around $10 – $20.
Roll on over to the clothing and accessories department and it’s pretty difficult to escape without a $50 – $100 receipt. Seriously, when you’re charging/spending $12 for a skirt for your stuffed bear a.k.a. a ‘best friend’ you can’t forget the shoes, sunglasses, collar, purse, hat, t-shirt, jacket, rain coat, pajamas and panties – yes panties. I’m sorry – no.
And if you must buy clothes for your bears, barbies, and bratz please consider paying an artist/crafter for handmade or recycle lots of doll clothes instead of feeding a corporate beast.
You know that boyfriend you had 7 years ago…let’s talk about him, his kids and his mom. We know you have movies/projects to promote but…
Honestly, this topic is more tired than your haircut circa 1994.
Elisabeth Haterbeck is looking tired and tore-up. Typically while she sits at the Co-Host table on The View spewing hate, inaccuracies and righteousness she’s at least aesthetically bearable – NOT TODAY.
ABC Video here… Brace yourself for a jacket that was a reject from the Michael Jackson collection, the hair definitely looks like something scooped out of a bigger, better blonde’s shower drain and her face looks haggard – like maybe she was up all night waiting for Timmy to come home – not from Iraq or anything. I wouldn’t normally beat down on someone so freely…but, ummmm I watch the show so I do know how to be unreasonably angry and opinionated when only mildly provoked.