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Category: This is Not the Look

Guess This Mess: “Celeb” Birthday Edition

Posted by on September 17, 2011 | One comment

Full galleries at Rumor Fix and TMZ

If you’re wondering “whatinthecadavorlippedplasticblondalfalfagoddamnhell is this?!?!??!” Join the club.

The birthday club to be exact…these two/three flowers of exquisite natural beauty behaving so glamorous and classy-like just make every pore of my 100% non-glam, reclusive being want to convert (into something without eyes and/or someone with internet protection/or the willpower to block such images)!

This is some prime time, fame whoring, spectacle making at its BEST!

I thought that Dina Lohan macking on her raggedy meal ticket under cascades of Victoria Gotti knock-off extensions and the watchful eye of two of her other children, celebrating her 49th birthday in a bar would be THE celebrity birthday pic of the week…but NO!

Enter the discount bin human barbie known as Heidi Montag, who everyone no one has been dying to see make a comeback!

I’m so team Montag for the “Sheer Elegance” win out of these two celebrity birthday pics, you?

and p.s. KimKloeKourtney&Kris called to say THANK YOU to all of the above for making them look absolutely natural, demure and sane by comparison.

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Guess This Mess: Eat Edition

Posted by on August 5, 2011 | 5 comments

Ladies FYI Victoria Beckham née Adams aka Posh Spice is the only woman in the world with clearance from the aliens to perpetrate their look and make it work.

And by “make it work”, I’m talking to you LeAnn. No matter how skinny you get, or how you manipulate those bolt-ons, or how many diamond rings you buy yourself, your husband‘s fidelity is up for grabs – as demonstrated by his cheating ways, as perpetrated with you!

Guilt mixed with insecurity – it’s a helluva drug. And I for one believe that THIS IS NOT THE LOOK. Please drop the Jack Skellington look and eat something like a heaping bowl of self confidence!


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