No, that isn’t me standing next to that Barbie Dream Mansion. I only wished I was a 9 yr. old white girl in 1983. But I did have that damn mansion ’cause I was spoi-eled… AND I had that sweet yellow corvette and bad Barbie R.V. It was AWESOME!
I used to have THE BEST Barbie-n-Ken outfits, my fave was the purple and red Business Barbie suit – it was so rad I can’t even express the JOY. My barbs ate like spoiled brats too. Magazine clippings of lobster tails, what ever looked decadent and hoity. Anything I’d seen on Hart to Hart, Dallas, Dynasty or Knots Landing.
And this my friends is where it all went wrong. How Hart to Hart made their riches? I don’t remember…What is up with the Dynasty peeps? No idea – they probably aren’t even in on the residual action for their DVD sales. It was a dumb, sloppy time. Oh, look at Falcon Crest…it was all wrong.
Now, Patrick Bateman would think me so gauche, but without a penny to my name – I’ve been better off than any of the times I was chasing the excess-of-the-eighties dream in my own Business Barbie suits. My BFFL always said this was the decade I’d come into my riches…and she was right. Excess is as OUT as shoulder pads.
P.S. I’m totally gonna bring back pairing purple and red. All discount or second hand – of course!
Hypermiling is the art of fuel conservation practices in any type of vehicle. Hypermiler extraordinaire Wayne Gerdes takes the practice to extremes to prove its effectiveness, achieving record breaking MPGs in regular ol’ cars, such as a purported 59 mpg in a Honda Accord.
To combat the “pain at the pump” (overused phrase of the lustrum) during these “tough economic times” (overused phrase of the decade) anyone behind the wheel can practice these ~simple steps to increase fuel economy:
When I first started ~researching this post I found this atrocious purple sack of dead animal skins adorned with surely synthetic stones – which I found dumb enough, being that a cheap (but stylish microfiber or canvas) bag works just as great – but the true sickness of it all (opening the perverbial bag can of worms) is that this lil’ clutch retails for…wait for it…SEVENTHOUSANDTWOHUNDRED dollars, cash money! Present day! American dollars + tax and probably some other fees for being pretentious enough to click, Color: “Viola-10717248 $7200″ and “Add to Cart”!!!
I showed this atrocity to the very thrifty Spousal Equivalent, who squinted and said, “What is that?” “It’a a BAG,” I shouted holding up the remote control, “a bag THIS BIG! Look at the price. A BAG, not the wall of an apartment complex!”
It’s just so wrong. I know Mr. Cillian Grail would approve – therein lies the criteria for the stamp of rejection that ought be applied to all extravagances that should have never germinated into the current state of moral and economic ruin this nation is in.
I mean even Little Pony Parker herself admitted (from her movie set in New Mexico) that Carrie Bradshaw will finally be affected by the nation’s financial disrepair in the forthcoming SNC – ten years in (yes I watch AND I saw the movie, I even accidently watched part of the special features once – which if you have you should watch RIGHT NOW, just to finish off this rant with a fine polish of bile portrayed as the major importance of stupid swaths of cloth and accessories four one slutty character wears in a film).
Point: I simply beg of you to recycle your old stuff, donate your old stuff, buy from local vendors, second hand, off eBay or etsy. And find out exactly who-the-hell Jada Loveless is!
While you’re at it maybe research your local government officials – just for kicks, e.g. who’s runningwho shouldn’t so you are armed with some info. when you go to the poles sans a $7,000.00 accessory like the upstanding citizen you are.
In ’01 Terri Hatcher would’ve likely given her left foot to have a vehicle such as the current has-been showcase known as Dancing With the Stars.
As you may know Teri was floundering as an actress in these nonsensical, barely parodied (above), RadioShack commercials with Howie Long back then.
Jump to twenty ’06 and Hatcher is accepting a Golden Globe and multi-million dollar paychecks via Wisteria Lane.
Point being – while the vast majority of us will not be bathing in vino any time soon, there is always an upturn. And fanciful as it seems we may be able to draw upon the Stars for some clarity.
Imagine the drive and optimism it takes to try out again and again, and again for any measly role. The excitement and fervor mustered to get up and promote project after project before so much as sustaining a wage – much less “hitting it big”.
And for every flippant, flamboyant or irrelevant “celebrity” that may flutter across or collective radar there are thousands upon thousands of dedicated artists who are truly working for their craft and their earnings.
Not to say that this Driving Optimism of which I speak should ever be mistaken with Negligent Optimism. Driving Optimism is the stuff of all of the above and that of Scientists, Teachers and Philosophers who strive for progress and betterment.
The latter, Neglignet Optimism destines its keeper for hardship, i.e. a wanna be gangsta’/thug, the bride hoping the wedding will change everything, the couple who think the baby will fix the relationship, the credit card holder who thinks, “I’ll pay for it later”, etc., etc.
Lesson Learned: Pick up your boot straps, not your crack pipe.
You can grill it, roast it, stew it, glaze it, saute it – pay over $40 for 16 oz. bag of dried it, over $10 for one sandwich of it, or just $5 for a fresh lb. of it.
This elegantly named and masterfully marketed fungus came on the scene like so many other oversized and opulent vices in the eighties when some mutant criminis were overrunning crops and generating tons of waste.
As the literal translation of its name denotes – Beautiful Port/Door, the spawn of these previously despised spores remain highly desirable and a retain their inflated price point.
In ’01 Terri Hatcher would’ve likely given her left foot to have a vehicle such as the current has-been showcase known as Dancing With the Stars.
As you may know Teri was floundering as an actress in these nonsensical, barely parodied (above), RadioShack commercials with Howie Long back then.
Jump to twenty ’06 and Hatcher is accepting a Golden Globe and multi-million dollar paychecks via Wisteria Lane.
Point being – while the vast majority of us will not be bathing in vino any time soon, there is always an upturn. And fanciful as it seems we may be able to draw upon the Stars for some clarity.
Imagine the drive and optimism it takes to try out again and again, and again for any measly role. The excitement and fervor mustered to get up and promote project after project before so much as sustaining a wage – much less “hitting it big”.
And for every flippant, flamboyant or irrelevant “celebrity” that may flutter across or collective radar there are thousands upon thousands of dedicated artists who are truly working for their craft and their earnings.
Not to say that this Driving Optimism of which I speak should ever be mistaken with Negligent Optimism. Driving Optimism is the stuff of all of the above and that of Scientists, Teachers and Philosophers who strive for progress and betterment.
The latter, Neglignet Optimism destines its keeper for hardship, i.e. a wanna be gangsta’/thug, the bride hoping the wedding will change everything, the couple who think the baby will fix the relationship, the credit card holder who thinks, “I’ll pay for it later”, etc., etc.
Lesson Learned: Pick up your boot straps, not your crack pipe.
Build-A-Bear Workshop – It started out as a very sweet concept, pick your bear skin, hug and love on his heart, pop it in his chest, watch him get stuffed and sewed up – precious. Your bear then gets a lil’ birth certificate and cardboard box house – these things can be achieved for around $10 – $20.
Roll on over to the clothing and accessories department and it’s pretty difficult to escape without a $50 – $100 receipt. Seriously, when you’re charging/spending $12 for a skirt for your stuffed bear a.k.a. a ‘best friend’ you can’t forget the shoes, sunglasses, collar, purse, hat, t-shirt, jacket, rain coat, pajamas and panties – yes panties. I’m sorry – no.
And if you must buy clothes for your bears, barbies, and bratz please consider paying an artist/crafter for handmade or recycle lots of doll clothes instead of feeding a corporate beast.
Bad economy, boredom, hopelessness et al may lead to increased unplanned pregnancy rates. Some reports indicate poverty renders girls/women 4 times more likely to get pregnant.
Nationwide educational and health services available at Planned Parenthood for one. Find help for yourself and those around you.
Lesson Learned – Queen-up your own castle, no one else is gonna do it for you.
